Dear Bogie,

I’m a beagle mix.   Any advice for working the TV remote? My human goes out a lot and leaves the TV on the major league baseball network (MLB). It may not be manly to admit this, but sometimes I just want to watch The View.   I’ve eaten several remotes (and, FYI, there’s nothing tasty inside), but have not yet succeeded in changing the channel.

Love (if that isn’t too personal),

Stanley

 

Yo Stan the Man,

I’ve had a love/hate relationship with remotes for years and sampled a few in my day. I hear ya on the taste. If I was president of the city I’d make electronics out of roast beef. #Bogie2016. But I find what they lack in nutrition they usually make up for with a satisfying crunch. Know what I mean?

Anyway, you’re not alone on the technical side of your quandary either. Interestingly enough, when I have questions of a scientific nature, I usually ask a beagle. You guys always have and always will be the brains of this outfit. (My IT department, for example””all beagles.) But not to worry Stan-O, we’ll figure this out together.

As far as solutions go, I can’t promise this will work but it’s definitely worth a shot: Instead of messing around with the remote, have you tried chewing the actual television set? Without knowing what specific model your human has, I suggest picking any corner and working your way around the entire unit until The View comes on. At least, that’s what I’d do.

Report back ASAP,

Bogie

P.S. I’m a little puzzled as to what could be more entertaining (tv-wise) than watching humans chase a ball through a field of grass for hours. I take it The View is a show about really hot babes?