It was all a big misunderstanding. When Vern told Sparky and I about wolves—about how they’re the sole ancestors of modern dogs like us and that therefore every dog has an inner-wolf—he was, of course, speaking figuratively about the fragility of domestication and whatnot. But Sparky became convinced that if he got hungry enough and [...]
Ladies and gentlemen, I did not buy my collar because it’s handsome. I did not buy it at all. I earned it. And I will never require another one because I take superlative care of my belongings and see zero need to dabble in the unfortunate, materialistic trend currently sweeping Lake View Terrace. But if [...]
A new family moved in down the street so Sparky and I went to check things out. It was early but the vetting process never sleeps. The new people were unloading their Subaru when we got there. I sat at the foot of their driveway and waited for them to acknowledge my presence. Newsflash puppies: [...]
I barked to assure Mrs. Baxter that she had nothing to worry about—that Sparky and I would begin preparing for the Thanksgiving guests immediately. That’s how we did things back then: Preparation. And footnote puppies, when your boss has something important to say look her square in the eyes and listen. No more of this [...]
And that was a crisis that needed to be handled even more delicately than usual because, on that particular day, Mrs. Baxter had a headache. For reasons known only to Mrs. Baxter whenever she had a headache Sparky wasn’t allowed inside. The coincidence never bothered my pal in the least. Back then dogs liked being [...]
Which never would have happened if Mr. Baxter hadn’t suggested Mrs. Baxter bring home two pounds of carne asada for another one of their romantic taco nights. I don’t expect generation-squeaky-toy to understand a word I’m saying, but what happened next remains an enduring example of ambition, teamwork and courage in the face of [...]
And that was the time my pal Sparky got away with nabbing Mrs. Baxter’s green bean casserole right off the stove. You should have seen him run. He didn’t even particularly like green beans, but that was Sparky. Doubt many pups could pull off a stunt like that these days. Took grit. Character. Reminds me [...]
My full name is Mortimer Baxter from Lake View Terrace. I do a lot of good work in my community but I am not running for president. I bring this up because it recently came to my attention that my neighbor down the street, Donny T, is getting confused for a guy who actually is running for the highest office in the United States. Yeah, the Donny is short for Donald and the “T” stands for Trump, but let me assure you that this Shih Zu is not running for president. Don’t get me started.
As far as I’m concerned, Benji never made a bad movie. Were they all flawless? No. Did Benji’s Very Own Christmas Story fail to deliver the same caliber of grit, determination and courage we’d come to expect from his first two films (Benji and For the Love of Benji)? Maybe. But what that seasonal installment [...]
It was Vern’s idea. He explained that, disastrous consequences aside, Sparky’s attempt to unleash his inner wolf had actually succeeded. When all was said and done—when the tow truck had left and the pizzas were paid for and the neighborhood’s electricity had been restored—there was no denying that our pal had displayed characteristics empirically consistent [...]