My total name is Tina
And I’m a full-time ballerina.
The Geoffrey and the ABT
Vie to sign me exclusively.
I feel for all those less-gifted pets
Who can’t muster jetes or pirouettes.

My legs are about a mile long
And I accompany myself with sopranic song
Hitting notes, supersonically high,
That make my person’s eyes go wide.
When she brings her hands to her ears,
It’s just a fumbling attempt to hide happy tears.

Despite entreaties to join the corps
Of ballet companies around the worlds
I prefer to dance alone at home
Making up sequences on my own,
Leaping Fonteyn-like from sofa to bed
Landing en pointe with a cock of my head.

A lissome siren, a graceful chanteuse,
Those are the sorts of words you’d use
To describe the uniqueness that is moi
(I also know French, as in un, deux, trois)
To those poor souls who won’t see my ballets
Because, as I believe you saw me say,
I perform only at home, where I most like to stay.