Hey Bogues,

My Person’s got a load of shoes which she loves ”“ so, naturally, I do, too.   Sometimes when she’s gone I play around with them, seriously I barely touch them, except, granted, when they’re especially tasty, like the ones that have P-r-a-d-a written inside (what kind of ”˜word’ is that?), oh, and the ones with the bright red underneath (there’s a recipe that needs no seasoning whatsoever), then, I admit, I can’t resist a bit of a chew. What canine connoisseur could? Being a gracious kind of guy, I only have a go at one of each pair, so the other’s fresh for her to do with as she will. And yet, when she gets home, I can see my gallantry has been overlooked. She turns the color of raw range-free bison and I have to call the vet. Should I have chewed on both shoes in each pair?

Roger the  Dumbfounded  Ridgeback

 

Dear Rogers-have-ridges,

When you’re right, you’re right buddy. Only thing you could possibly have done differently in this situation is complete the task in question. With designer taste and a refined palate for luxury such as yours, I too am confused by your person’s reaction. The answer to your query, therefore, is yes. Yes you most certainly should have sampled both shoes. It’s not inconceivable that a right shoe will taste better than a left (and vice versa) but, ultimately, there’s only one way to find out. Seeing as how your person enjoys shoes with exotic names that I can’t pronounce and fancy colors that I’ve rarely seen, I’d say she is a woman with a bit of flare in both her wardrobe and pantry. She’s likely only upset at the lack of symmetry your unfinished work left behind. Next time this tasty opportunity arises, simply even things out.

All the best,

Bogie