Um, Hey Bogie.

Listen. We’ve got this cat. Wild type. Always was. (Why in the world she let him stay is beyond the rest of us. Whatever.) Early on he launched himself onto my back, flying from the bed as I was moseying along on my walking meditation, attaching like vel-cro.   I’m not an effen horse, know what I mean?   He’s older now, about a year, and I’m thinking it’s time to forgive and forget. But what are the chances he’ll try it again? He’s a tabby if that helps. Goes by BobCat.

Thanks a lot for any advice, buddy,

Gracie A Bassett

 

Madame Gracie,

I’m sorry you had to endure such cruelty! As they say, “once a cat, always a cat.” To forgive and forget would be doing him (and you!) a grand disservice. While your living arrangement seems such that there is no way around accepting BobCat as your tenant, this does mean you have to make life easy for him. For example, how much are you charging this ninja-dude for rent right now? I’d think about doubling it and demanding retroactive payment for last year…immediately. Other than that, I think it’s imperative to keep the line of communication completely blocked. You can eat his food and stuff, but do not engage on his adolescent platform. You’re the boss.

Thinking of you,

Bogie